Are All Men Simply Pigs? If So, Can This “Piggishness” Be Trained Out of Us? Thoughts on the Objectification of Women
By Ken K. Gourdin
Here’s a post arguing that men aren’t simply slaves to their hormones or to their culture, et cetera, and that, therefore, we should not objectify women: look them in the eyes, don’t be an FBI (“Female Body Inspector,” as the t-shirt says), and so on: http://www.beautyredefined.net/guys-guide-to-seeing-women-not-objects/#comment-58367, last accessed today. This is, of course, a proposition with which I agree. I (try to) avoid objectifying women, not because any particular woman cares about whether I objectify her or not, but rather simply because it’s the right thing to do. The material in the quotation marks below is how the post to which I responded ended:
“Be with women.
“Because in the end, they want to be with you.”
Umm … well, there’s just one problem with this: in my case, it isn’t true. “They” don’t want to “be with [me].”
I’m not complaining. I’m just stating a fact. Now, don’t get the wrong idea: I’m not arguing against the post’s main point (or against an idea brought forth in the comments): neither men nor women should objectify or should be objectified by the other. And I’ve always treated women … on the rare occasions when they’ve actually cared how I treated them … with the respect they deserve. And I know I’m not a slave to my culture or my hormones (well, I’m not a slave to those, in part, because, largely, I no longer have them, but that’s another story) or to how a woman looks or to how she dresses, etc. etc. etc.
I have sole possession of the remote control, and hence, I can watch what I want, when I want.
I can eat what I want, when I want.
I can watch whatever movie’s playing that I happen to want to see and that matches my schedule without worrying if it matches anyone else’s taste (or her schedule) and without worrying about what “she” will think of it (or of me for [wanting to] see it).
I can go where I want, when I want (schedule permitting).
I don’t have to care whether “she” agrees with what I think about anything.
I don’t have to care whether “she” agrees with what I (want to) do.
Now, are all of these things a poor substitute for a relationship in which I would have to care about those things? Yeah, maybe. And I’m not saying that I wouldn’t care about these things if I had (the prospect of) such a relationship. But I’m a pragmatist: I’ll take what I can get.
Do I sound like a pessimist? I’m neither an optimist nor a pessimist when it comes to women … just a realist.But are you telling me the reverse isn’t true? Are you telling me that women don’t care about how guys look? With all due respect, that’s a crock of crap. If that were the case, I have enough going for me otherwise that I long ago gladly would have surrendered the “benefits” of my “single, unattached, and prospectless” status to “Become One” with someone. If she can’t see … really see … what she’s looking at, that’s not my problem.