Did Matt Harpring Nearly Paralyze LeBron James?

I thought better of sending this after I wrote it but, nonetheless, I think the whole “If-you’d-sneezed-LeBron-would’ve-been-paralyzed” angle is too good to let die an anonymous death.  So I thought I’d post it here.  (Yeah, right!  Like that’s gonna make any difference, since nobody reads the blog!  Well, you know what I mean …)

February 8, 2014

Mr. Matt Harpring

C/O The Utah Jazz

301 West South Temple

Salt Lake City UT  84101

Dear Mr. Harpring:

You probably don’t pay any attention to fan criticism of your color commentary.  That’s probably a good thing, as nothing can make a man schizophrenic faster than trying to bend to the constantly-shifting winds of fickle public opinion.  (Generally I enjoy your color commentary, but February 8’s Jazz-Heat game was an exception.)

While I do realize that perhaps this observation is based 99 percent on perception and 1 percent on reality, I could barely stand to listen to your commentary of that contest because it seemed you had your nose so far up LeBron James’s rear-end that if you’d sneezed, he would have been paralyzed for life.  (I’m sure he was oblivious to the potential danger.)

Please accept my constructive criticism in the spirit in which it is intended.  I mean no offense, and am sincerely interested in helping you improve.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely yours,

Ken K. Gourdin,

A loyal Jazz fan and viewer of your telecasts

About kenngo1969

Just as others must breathe to live, I must write. I have been writing creatively almost ever since I learned to write, period! I have written fiction, book- and article-length nonfiction, award-winning poetry, news, sports, features, and op-eds. I hope, one day, to write some motivational nonfiction, a decent-selling novel, a stage play, and a screen play.
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